Who is God?

God isn't who I thought he was when I was a kid. 

Back then God was distant. 

God was the hard-and-fast line between what was good and what was bad.

God was a cold, impersonal person who sat on a throne somewhere out there in the universe, who maybe looked my way every once in a while.

Mostly, God just wasn't around. My world functioned perfectly fine without him--only every once in a while, when I really needed something, I might try and make an effort at reaching him in a prayer (hoping and trying to muster enough faith for it to go the distance).

Today, my concept of God is completely different.

God is the warm flicker of the candles I light when I'm feeling down. 

God is the safety of my blanket when I wrap myself up tight and tuck in my feet. 

God is the excitement, depth, and color of my favorite songs on Spotify. 

God is intimately close to me in every moment of my life. He is the clear, inner ''knowing'' when my experience or logic can't make sense of what to do, when to do it, or what to make of the world around me.

It's me that's changed.

Back then I was distant. 

I was a hard-and-fast line who sorted the world (or myself) into ''good'' and ''bad.'' 

I didn't see how his influence surrounded and permeated the world I lived in. How every moment was both a reflection and a consequence of his love, power, compassion, and creation. 

That his eyes are always on me. His attention, concern, and compassion is always mine. 

When I speak, he hears. I didn't need to muster the faith to reach him.

I needed the faith to relax and let him hold me.